I have always wanted to know how to draw.
Well…that is not entirely the truth. When I was a kid, I knew how to draw. Without a doubt, at least in my estimation, all my creations were decisively fridge-worthy. Not that I cared if any of my works were ever shown at the KAG (Kitchen Art Gallery). I loved drawing for its own sake. And colouring. And painting. And anything art related.
And then, somewhere along the way, I realized that what I was putting on paper didn’t bear much, if any, resemblance to what was actually in front of me. This became a source of great frustration and a resulting downward shift in confidence, and I resigned myself to what logically had to be the truth: I simply wasn’t an Artist and therefore couldn’t and wouldn’t ever be able to draw.
Instead, I drew and re-drew the few learned images I deemed “good” at the time (so many cartoon bunnies, 3-dimensional hearts, and crying eyes), and stopped trying to draw anything else. Creating anything original wasn’t even remotely in the picture, (pardon the pun), and even though I continued to own sketchpads, coloured pencils, and paints, I never really knew what to do with them.
However, I always wanted to know.
There is an undeniable pull that I have always felt to art supplies and art stores. I experience a deep yearning as I wander the aisles and long to know what each item is used for and how to use it, or hold a beautiful crimson pastel in my hand and wonder what magic I need to know to make it do something creative, or at least “legitimate.” There is also an incredible sense of possibility as I imagine the unlimited potential that is right there in front of me.
But I’ve never known where to start.
To this day, I feel excitement when I sit with a sketchbook, 2B at the ready and although it is usually pretty quickly replaced with a familiar sense of frustration and paralysis, as I stare blankly at a blank page, there have been rare moments of inspiration when I remember what it was like to be a kid, drawing for drawing’s sake, and simply enjoy the feel of pencil on paper.
It is a feeling too good to ignore any longer.